Polyamory: Families and Relationships – with Adrienne Sweetwater

The hetero-normative view of family is what we mostly see represented publicly and in the media. We might hear about LGBTQ+ families, but commonly we’re shown a couple or a single parent.

What about polyamorous families? Can you remember the last time you saw these types of relationships on TV or in the newspaper?

In this episode, Adrienne Sweetwater talks about her life in a poly triad. She shares how a queer identity intersects with having a global mindset and being a adult third culture kid. Adrienne offers insights into the difference between one’s different emotional and physical needs, plus the complexity and importance of legal protection for poly families living globally mobile lives.

And if you’re not in a poly relationship and don’t quite know what to say when you find out someone is, she gives us all a great way to answer!

Resources

Polyamory Weekly – Podcast

The Ethical Slut – Book

Polyamory (Leon Feingold) – TEDxBushwick

Follow Adrienne

Instagram

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Patterns of Patriarchy: Herstory Rising – with Chrissy Ward

The extent to which patriarchal history still shapes women’s lives today is extraordinary. In this episode, we explore just quite how much – from medical treatment, women’s experiences in employment, and the social expectations placed upon them.

Chrissy Ward offers a fascinating insight into how this history plays out every day in women’s lives.

Chrissy Ward describes herself as a woman, a witch and a fellow human. It’s time to embrace our inner goddesses! Its been a rocky road … not the chocolate type! I’m a survivor and want to help my fellow goddesses on their pathways.

Follow Chrissy

www.ravencrowwellbeing.com

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Resources

UK

Women’s Health – NHS

Find Women’s Health Services – NHS

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

Australia

HealthTalk Australia – Resources and information

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

Office on Women’s Health – Government website (info, support, treatments)

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

Unexpected Listening: ‘Being Rock’ with Mandy Preece

Today’s episode is the last in this first series. We’ve looked at eight different lives, all challenging in their own way, to the individuals themselves, but also to the people that they encounter.

And now you’ve heard some of these stories, I wanted to conclude the series with giving you something practical, a ‘how to’.

How do we deal with these unexpected moments? How do we be present with someone when they tell us something that we don’t know what to do with?

I’ve brought back Mandy Preece, author and creator of Being Rock, the award-winning communications training. Being Rock is a superb method of listening which gives us the tools to manage the moment when we don’t know how to react to what we’ve just heard.

This is a powerful end to this first series as Mandy shares very real and practical techniques that will enable you to be present with people in ways that you never imagined.

In This Episode

  • How we listen incorrectly
  • Why unexpected listening changes everything
  • Noticing the elephant in the room and using it
  • Why ‘but’ is the word you need to listen to
  • What to do when someone rants at you

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Follow Mandy

Buy the Book

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Resources

UK

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

Mensline – help, support, referrals and counselling for men

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

Almost married off at 12 with Angie McLachlan

What kind of life must you have lived, when friends ask mutual friends if everything you say about your life is actually true?

I invited my wife, Angie to the podcast, not because Ang is my wife, but because having lived with Ang for 14 years, I see the other side of having lived that interesting life which makes people ask such questions. The lives that challenge us are also the lives that aren’t seen because people don’t quite believe your truth.

Ang grew up with an absent father and a mother with manic depression. Add neurodiversity and being gay in there too and you start to appreciate the challenges, the grace, the opportunities, the wisdom that Ang holds.

Angie talks candidly about her childhood, how it’s impacted their adult life and important relationships, plus offers us an opportunity to reflect on our own hardships to see if we can see them through new eyes.

In this Episode:

  • Navigating disability and mental illness
  • The importance of your ‘safe people’ in life
  • The power of objects for triggering memory
  • When your wounds help others towards emotional freedom
  • Reframing a childhood with adult eyes

Trigger Warning:

The podcast includes mention of a golly doll. The doll was given to Ang by her father in recognition of her African childhood, which is very dear to her heart. We acknowledge that the use of the word also represents outdated cultural depictions and advise listener discretion.

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Follow Angie

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Resources

UK

Menopause Support UK – Support and information

NHS Menopause – Information

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

The Australasian Menopause Society – for medical professionals + the public

HealthTalk Australia – Resources and information

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

Mensline – help, support, referrals and counselling for men

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

Office on Women’s Health – Government website (info, support, treatments)

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

Menopause: The Final Frontier with Mandy Preece

The number of menopausal women is expected to reach 1.1 billion by 2025. Whilst virtually every woman will go through menopause, it remains a hushed subject, a taboo, that in many countries sees women suffering in silence. Out of the 48 symptoms named in the Invisibility Report 51% of women can only name 3.

Woman often start to feel the symptoms in their 40s, when at the peak of their careers. In the UK, one in four women will experience severe debilitating symptoms from menopause. In the USA, 73% of women don’t treat their symptoms.

This week, I speak with Mandy Preece who shares her experiences of living with menopause for the past 7 years. It’s an insightful conversation as Mandy talks about the ups and downs….yes there are some ups! 🙂 Mandy is proof that you can live the s**t and start to come out the other side still smiling.

In This Episode

  • How to manage your closest relationships
  • Adopting a mind set of self-nurture
  • Embracing sisterhood in menopause
  • How to listen to your body compass to get help
  • The gifts of menopause

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Follow Mandy

Mentioned in the podcast

Fleabag – BBC Series by Phoebe Waller-Bridge (whole series)

Fleabag Menopause scene – BBC III

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Resources

UK

Gen M – The Menopause Partner for Brands. Home of the Invisibility Report

Menopause Support UK – Support and information

NHS Menopause – Information

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

The Australasian Menopause Society – for medical professionals + the public

HealthTalk Australia – Resources and information

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

Mensline – help, support, referrals and counselling for men

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

International Menopause Society – Promoting education and research

Office on Women’s Health – Government website (info, support, treatments)

The Menopausal Expats – Facebook community for support and information

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

The Emotional Complexities of Living With Wealth with Alice

We all appreciate that being poor and struggling to make ends meet is difficult, but what about being wealthy? Is it really as desirable as we might think? Does it solve our problems and make us happy?

I invited Alice for an honest conversation about what it’s like to grow up in a wealthy family and to live with wealth. It’s certainly not a very woke subject, but it has a place in this series of conversations. Challenges go both ways and life is life whomever you are. Alice adds a thoughtful commentary on the nuances of living with wealth; its freedoms and complexities.

In this Episode

  • Trust in friendships
  • The indifference of health to wealth
  • Wealth inheritance and stewardship
  • Finding a life purpose
  • Preconceptions

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Resources

UK

MIND – Support for Postnatal and perinatal mental health

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Treatment -Postnatal depression

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

PANDA – Support for parents after birth

Raising Children – Support for partners of those with postnatal depression

Pregnancy Birth and Baby – information and support for parents

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

Headspace – National Youth Mental Health Foundation with support services

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

National Institute of Mental Health – Perinatal Depression information

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

The Day I Was Charged With Murder with Sue

Twenty five years ago Sue’s life changed forever.

Unexpectedly and suddenly, she found herself on a murder charge. How does a person cope with this kind of ‘life shock’? The unexpected collision point which takes over your life and leaves its mark indefinitely?

In this episode, Sue talks about the traumatising events that led to her arrest, how it completely blindsided her, and the ways in which she managed to begin healing and find her way back to herself.

In this Episode

  • The under recognised stresses of living with another’s addiction
  • Navigating a major ‘life shock’
  • Learning to forgive
  • Finding yourself again after life-changing events
  • Transcending emotional scars to help others

Mentioned in this Episode

Life Shocks by Sophie Sabbage – book

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Resources

Worldwide

International Domestic Violence Resource Guide 2021

UK

Refuge – National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Citizens Advice – Help for domestic violence and abuse

Victim Support – Help for domestic abuse

NHS – Getting help for domestic violence and abuse

Controlled, Abused and Criminalised – BBC Sounds ‘File on 4’ story

Adfam – Help for families dealing with drug and alcohol addiction

Al Anon – Family group support alcohol addiction, drug addiction and addictive behaviours

Prisoners’ Families Helpline – Support (England and Wales only)

Partners of Prisoners – Support to family and offenders

Carers UK – Support for carers

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

1800 Respect – National sexual assault, domestic family violence counselling service

Lifeline – How to get help for domestic and family violence

White Ribbon Australia – List of helplines for domestic abuse

Bars Between – Support organizations in Australia and NZ

Community Restorative Centre – Help to prepare for prison and court dates

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

Headspace – National Youth Mental Health Foundation with support services

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

Alcohol and Drug Foundation – Help and Support Services

USA

National Domestic Violence Helpline – Domestic violence support

National Institute of Mental Health – A range of helplines

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical/legal/law enforcement in your country.

Valuing Motherhood over Womanhood with Sarah Black

Women are commonly asked, “do you have children?” It’s a loaded fact-checking question and the woman’s answer hovers as a tenuous balancing point from which they know there are two choices, being met with approval or judged.

In this episode, Sarah talks honestly about the prejudice she faces in being a woman without children. She shares personal stories about her experiences, when and why she’s felt most judged, as well as explaining why she’s the person you especially want in your life.

Listen in to this episode to understand why society needs to do better. WE need to do better. Sarah’s experiences shine a light on how a woman’s purpose is viewed, why that can be so damaging, and how everyone can see women as much more than just ‘baby machines’.

In This Episode:

  • Types of prejudice that childless women face
  • The power of challenging assumptions
  • Improve your communication with women
  • Benefits of non-parental relationships with children

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Follow Sarah

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Mentioned in the podcast:

Share the Love – blogpost about pregnancy troubles as the expat

Resources:

UK

The Miscarriage Association – Support and resources

Tommy’s – Baby Loss Support

SANDS – Stillbirth and neonatal death (information/support)

The Child Death Helpline – support regardless of when the loss occurred

Adoption UK – Support and advocacy for those parenting or supporting children who cannot live with their birth parents

New Family Social – information/support for LGBT+ adoptive & foster families

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

Pregnancy Birth and Baby – information and support for parents

Mensline – help, support, referrals and counselling for men

IVF Australia

SANDS – Miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death support

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

Headspace – National Youth Mental Health Foundation with support services

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support

March of Dimes – Pregnancy Health

The Compassionate Friends – Support for Loss generally

Very Well Family – Support for Pregnancy and Parenting

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

The Impact of ADHD and a Prison Sentence with Harvey

What happens when you find yourself before someone who challenges you because their experiences are outside society’s accepted norm of good behaviour?

Do you judge? Do you make a note to keep your distance? Do you politely remove yourself from the conversation because they are not like you?

I invited Harvey to Drawn to a Deeper Story to talk about being in prison. It felt pertinent to understand what it is like and to explore if there is space to practice compassion for prisoners/ex-prisoners.

I knew it would be a good conversation, but what I didn’t expect was an incredibly rich and insightful discussion also about the impact of living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

Harvey talks personally and candidly about living with undiagnosed ADHD, how it’s shaped his life including ending up in prison. He also eloquently explains why people with ADHD can struggle with work, personal relationships and mental health.

If you’re interested in something with my condition, you can function at a very high level, but the flip side is if it bores you, you cannot function at all.Harvey

Listening to Harvey will take you to a place that most of us will never have been. He’s insightful, erudite, and invites us all to look at ‘othering’ with new eyes.

In this Episode:

  • How the brain of an ADHD person works
  • The challenges and benefits that ADHD creates in one’s life
  • How to support people with ADHD and grasp what they may be dealing with
  • Why many young men end up in prison
  • The critical importance of prison education to prisoners’ well-being and more broadly to society
  • Why the real punishment of prison is not what we think it is

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan

Mentioned in the podcast:

The Koestler Awards

Hannah Arendt

Resources:

UK

NHS ADHD Information and treatments

ADHD Foundation – Health and education service

National Autistic Society – Support, guidance and advice

Ambitious About Autism – For autistic children, young people, their parents and carers

Prisoners’ Families Helpline – Support (England and Wales only)

Partners of Prisoners – Support to family and offenders

The Prison Reform Trust

Carers UK – Support for carers

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

ADHD Australia – Support groups (States and Territories)

Bars Between – Support organizations in Australia and NZ

Community Restorative Centre – Help to prepare for prison and court dates

Autism Spectrum Australia – National service provider for people on the autism spectrum

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

Headspace – National Youth Mental Health Foundation with support services

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

Tips for Managing Adult ADHD

Autism Society – Information and support

Autism Society of America – Advocacy

National Institute of Mental Health – A range of helplines

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

Living on the Autism Spectrum with Hailey Slade

Hailey Slade is a yoga-loving, hippy tattoo artist with Aspergers. With poignancy and humour she shares what it’s like to be on the autism spectrum.

Living with autism is challenging; especially in a world that is made for people who think and process differently. It can be incredibly beautiful, but too often, people on the autism spectrum spend years trying to work out why they experience the world as they do.

“I’ve never really wanted anyone to think of me as moody or grumpy or not friendly or approachable. I realized since having my diagnosis, that I finally care a lot less about what other people think, because I know I can’t do so much.” – Hailey Slade

Listen in to go on a journey of understanding as Hailey explains what it’s like, why it’s so challenging and what the rest of us can do to help.

In this Episode:

  • What is neurodiversity?
  • Understanding the physical and emotional issues of autism
  • Autistic coping strategies
  • Myth-busting the misconceptions about autism
  • How neurotypical people can help

Follow Hailey’s work

More information about Autism:

Adulting with Autism – Instagram account

The Autistic Life – Instagram account

Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome – Book by Rudy Simone

Asperges in Girls – Lecture by Prof. Tony Attwood

Resources:

UK

National Autistic Society – Support, guidance and advice

Online Safety for people with ASD – A great guide to stay safe online

Ambitious About Autism – For autistic children, young people, their parents and carers

Carers UK – Support for carers

Samaritans – FREE Help – Tel: 116 123, E: jo@samaritans.org

NHS Depression Support Groups

NHS Mental Health Services

The British Psychology Society – Find a Psychologist

Australia

Autism Awareness Australia – Support for Autism families

Autism Spectrum Australia – National service provider for people on the autism spectrum

Beyond Blue – Mental health support

Headspace – National Youth Mental Health Foundation with support services

The Black Dog Institute – Medical health resources, services and research

SANE Australia – Counselling support, Tel: 1800 187 263 (10am – 10pm)

USA

Autism Society – Information and support

Autism Society of America – Advocacy

National Institute of Mental Health – A range of helplines

American Psychologist Association – Psychologist Finder

OR contact medical services in your country.

Follow Cath at Drawn to a Story

Episode information

Music by Grant McLachlan