I've heard comments like this so often from mixed raced people. As a white woman I have no experience of this personally, which in itself doesn't feel right.
White privilege limits our exposure to racism. As the one with privilege, I don't experience it. I'm more likely to get sexism, homophobia or fat comments. These are shit too, but except for maybe sexism, aren't as systemic.
But what about when you're mixed race? The judgement still thrives.
🗣 'You're white-passing'.
🗣 'You act white'
🗣 'You're mostly brown/black anyway'
🗣 'You're white/brown/black on the inside'
We seem to struggle with mixture. Why? It's simple. Racism. Socially one race is deemed better than the other. But a mixture? Oh, we don't know how to handle that.
The freelance writer Sarah Mohammed said that it never occurred to her as a child that her white friends were never asked, 'Where are you REALLY from?'. I get that question for my accent, but never my skin colour.
There is so much store put on less than 2mm of skin. Go beneath 1.5 mm and in theory, we're all the same.
However, because of how we treat that 1.5mm of skin, the rest of our body becomes very different. It's layered with centuries of ancestral trauma and ancestral privilege.
So yes, we're all the same in that were human, but also that phrase 'we are all human' annoys the crap out of me. It denies the experiences of each individual, those that shape us through other people's attitudes.
We talk of marginalised experiences. That is why they are marginalised, because the dominant group can ignore things on their margins. 🤦🏼♀️
But when you are the 'marginalised', it is not the margins. It is your 100% your life. It is central.
The 'glamour' of expat life is not that glamorous sometimes.
⛔ Not connecting with your partner much because you're working different time zones.
⛔ Not sleeping in the same bed as your partner because you come to bed late after working in another time zone and don't want to disturb their sleep.
⛔ Feeling like you're a single parent because you're solo parenting whilst your partner sleeps in the day and works at night for a few weeks to the hours of headquarters (HQ).
⛔ HQ not understanding the local conditions and what's possible or not possible.
⛔ Requiring 'bribe money' for local authorities to get the job done, but HQ not allowing for it in your budgets.
The complexities are multilayered and require families to dig deep just to deliver their daily routine for work and home....